Perhaps it's the time of the month.. I just cant help finding fault or rather being irritated by people around me. Their behaviour, the things they say are so cock that either I keep quiet, roll my eyes or.. if I cant keep mum, I snap back.

When such low EQ comment comes out from your mouth, it makes me wonder what have u been doing to your life for the past yearssss..

I love kitty.

before work starts.. posted @ Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Went Pulau Ubin with my uni friends. It's my first time cycling there! Surprisingly dangerous I feel. The steep down slopes.. The narrow mud track surrounded by tall trees and bushes... The dark roads without any street lamps. And it's very tedious with all the steep up slopes. What's worse when it rained near evening time. We took shelter for a while and decided to move on in the rain before the sky turned dark with no street lamps at all.

Met up with my JC friends. We had one almost every year but the turnout was always bad. But this time round, 10 of us turned up! And there were some whom I didnt met up with since A levels ended. Now that I graduated. That's like 3-4 years! Good timing I suppose, with all those studying overseas back in SG for holiday.

Went to Serangoon Broadway to take family pics again. It's freaking EX!! I cant believe so many people actually took the pics there. Luckily I took some at Suntec already. Though they said the quality differs with the price, to me, it's all the same. I cant tell the difference. And as long as it looks nice and presentable on the wall or on the desk, it's alright! Who will examine those pics with microscope..

Gonna start work tomorrow! I am excited! :D

I love kitty.

mummy's bday posted @ Thursday, September 17, 2009

It's my mummy's bday! I totally forgot till a few days ago. Luckily I bought Clinique set from the JB trip, can just treat it as bday present. And I thought of bringing her for a massage spa during the day.

On the way to Changi Airport T3...

After the scrub, massage and steam bath.. The lady is power manz. Blue-black appeared on my both shoulders the very night..

On the way back home..

My daddy came to fetch us to ECP for seafood dinner..

Asked my daddy to take pics for me.. He always give no warning before snapping..

Today is their 31st wedding anniversary! :)

I hope we dont look alike.

I wanna look like my daddy more! Except for his turkey-like neck..

Look at the bday auntie.. omg.

My mummy and I always say daddy's neck is like those of the turkey's. Thin, saggy, flabby.. See, I can just pull the top layer skin and it wont fall back after I release.

My daddy didnt even realised I pulled his neck and took a pic of it. But my mummy was trying to tell on me.. She was trying to tell my daddy that I pulled his neck and took a pic of it.. So mean of her.. Look at my daddy.. He's still laughing away.. Dumb Dumb one..

I love kitty.

lala! posted @ Monday, September 14, 2009

Tired. The tiredness I experienced cant be recovered just by sleeping 48 hours one shot. Recalling back, I guess its the one-after-another events that makes my life goes on and on without a pause for me to rest. Hullabaloo followed by my step-grandma's funeral...

I am really glad to have the support of my friends for Hullabaloo! My pri sch friends, my sec sch friends, my uni friends, thanks for coming down to take part! :) I know many of them just aint the sporty kind and many stay as far as bishan, bt batok; they took part not because of the prizes but just to show support for me. I feel that their support and attendance are the greatest consolation I get from organizing this event.

Met up with my internship ex colleagues. I am glad that the few of us still keep in touch with each other and occasional meet-ups to update each other with our lives always put a pause to my life. Listening to stories of other people while having dinner never fail to produce the effect of pulling me out of the "me-world". It makes me realise that other people are going through rough patches as well, other people are going through much worse feelings, or other people are adopting such positive attitude which I should too.

The long awaiting JB trip! I was so looking forward to it. It was quite a rush one for me cos after the tiring funeral, I had to give make-up tuition lessons for my tutees and meet up with my ex intern colleagues, didnt have much time to prepare for the JB trip. I know there's nothing much to prepare physically. But I like to do mental preparation. Thinking of what to bring, what to do, what time to set off from home etc.

In the end, on that day, I forgot to bring along Lynette's present, gotta rush back home to take it. My mummy suddenly called me to remind me that my passport is going to expire in Nov. By right the expiry date should not be less than 6 months later. I already prepared myself for the worst which is to go back to SG alone. I was late. I forgot to withdraw money to change into RM.

By the time we reached SG, it was past midnight and lynette's bf drove us all home.

Fengzhi invited us to her house before she leaves for Aus coming Fri again. It was a fun and laughter-filled night! Thought it's always the few of us attending such gathering, I feel it's enough. As long as the few of us continue to support such gathering, perhaps in future more pri sch friends will turn up. :)

We played drinking game intro by Fengzhi, Indian Poker and some mining game. It's the first time drinking with pri sch friends and it's good that almost all of us are still staying in Simei.

This is Fengzhi's LuLu, not my Dudu. Our christmas present 2008. :)

I love kitty.

ramblings posted @ Monday, September 07, 2009

Yesterday my daddy mummy and i reached the funeral only in the late evening. The moment I steped into the vicinity and being seen by those aunties, comments just flowed out from their mouths.

"remove your earrings."

"quick go and change into the white top."

By the way, I have been showing respect by wearing only white and black. And I always wear a cardigan over everyday since 4 days ago, fearing that sleeveless or strips are too much for my outdated elderly to take it.

"no need to change lah, she is wearing white already mah."

"go change, if not later people say you very vain"

I am in my twenties, I am a female. It's natural that I dress up. By dressing up, I am showing respect to myself and to others also. Do I have to look very shabby, haggard, listless because it's funeral? I think it's always impt to look presentable regardless of the occasion. And I think I look presentable enough. I cant help it when my wardrobe is just filled with nicer clothes and I dont buy those round neck plain tshirt.

Okies, nvm about that. I went up to change still. But when I reached my grandpa's place, those super old generation aunties said what i am wearing is fine. It's already white and black. Why is there a need to change.

YES, why is there a need to change? And WHY are people telling me different things. Very fun to keep bothering people and causing them inconvenience is it? Why must they make other's unhappy when they should be grateful when people even attend the funeral? Many people aint very willing to even attend the funeral cos it's the step-family. But because my grandpa is still around, they just wanna show him respect.

She is my step-grandma. My paternal grandma has already passed away. I am kind enough to make a trip down to pay a visit. Those step-aunties are still asking me to change this, remove that etc.

When I was chit chatting out there with my younger male cousin and nephews, my step aunt came shouting, "xiao jie men! go serve visitors drink when they come." Isnt it very obvious that she is just pinpointing me only? All males there except me. In the end, I just went to take drinks for myself and continue to chit chat.Since when they treated me like their niece or granddaughter. OKay, put aside the relationship, even as a normal human, I dont think they have shown me any respect. Then dont expect any respect from me.

And my late step-grandma's own siblings are irritating as well. There's still uncle who kept ensuring my daddy come. When my daddy didnt turn up, he called him. When he saw me, he asked "your daddy never come ah?" So desperate for my daddy's attendance. And yesterday when my daddy came, he said in a very sarcastic tone, "wah, wear so nice today ah?" Implying my daddy didnt even bother to wear the white round neck tshirt provided and putting on the lil piece of cloth on the sleeve.

So concerned for his own sister, wanna ensure everyone put on the lil piece of cloth for her, wanna ensure she is not being shortchanged, then when she was ill, how come none of her siblings turn up to take care of her or even visit her?

Now I understand why my daddy said he is just disgusted by the whole thing. I believe what he experienced is 100000X worse than what i have seen and experienced.

And yes, they are the ones who intrude into other people's family, stealing all the attention, on what ground do they expect us to even contribute or feel sympathetic towards them. What's even more unjustified when they are so mean to the rightful wife, rightful sons, rightful daughters and rightful grandchildren? And since when they care for the family? Thus far, they bring us trouble only.

When they see my maternal grandma, aunts and uncles come, they are so polite, courteous and delighted. But I know deep in their heart, they are happy cos my maternal side will contribute money. MONEY. I saw my grandpa's eyes following me when I was holding on to the stack of 50 dollars, walking towards the booth. And my step-uncle... I havent even handed over the money, he just snatched the money from me at the booth. So uncivilised and barbaric of him. And he isnt the one collecting anyway, its the lady who keeps a record and count the money. So he snatched the money from me for what.

I blame them, I blame them for leaving such an ugly meaning to family in my mind.

I love kitty.

stupid posted @ Sunday, September 06, 2009

My step-grandma just passed away. She had been ill for more than a year, with her condition deteriorating day by day. She was left with bones and skull before she left. Though we werent close, I did feel a lil upset. No matter what, it's still someone whom I know and interacted with before died. When the doc told us it's within these few days, those countable moments with her just flashed back. Offering egg roll to me during cny, giving me red packet during cny, asking me to have the steamboat during cny..

My paternal side is a huge family. As you can guess when I said she is my step-grandma. And such a big family makes arranging for funeral a complicated and difficult one. What's worse is the fact that she is our step-grandma. The family itself already has an invisible divider. Though unspoken, in everyone's heart, we clearly know which side we belong.

Since young, I always know my daddy has this resentment deeply buried in his heart towards the step-family. But this funeral just exposed his displeasure towards them again. From his tone and everything, I feel its more of indignation.

He told us yesterday that the young him needed money for school and his mummy asked him to get 20 cent from his daddy's pocket. Merely 20 cent. Yet his daddy was so pissed off with it and went round the house grumbling and asking who stole his money. He really used the word "STOLE" instead of "took". The indignation came about because his step-mummy took 10 over dollars from his daddy's pocket and his daddy spoke nothing. He said his daddy always scolded his mummy yet she just kept quiet, v pleasant with no temper at all. His mummy didnt have money with her at all. Since young, he wasnt taken care of and he supported himself by cutting rubber tree trunk for money. And I always heard him and my other aunts said that my grandpa treats the people here like grass and the step-people like some treasure. So I am grass in the eyes of my grandpa. Insignificant. Luckily I have my maternal grandpa who really regards me as his granddaughter.

I felt so sorry for my daddy! So poor thing. He's a kid with no parental love. No one dotes on him, no one takes care of him, no one even cares for him when he's young. I cant imagine myself living in that environment. My own daddy calling me a thief when I just took some money to go school because I really dont have a cent with me. And I have to live with 10 other sisters and 3 other brothers under the same roof, sharing things and fighting for attention.

And I heard from my aunts, mummy and daddy that the unfairly treatment is very obvious if we compare the 2 funerals - my first grandma and step-grandma. My grandpa didnt even bother about my first grandma's funeral. Everything was settled and done by my daddy and his elder brother. The step-family side also didnt care much. But now, my grandpa is so concerned over this funeral and so grieved over her death.

No wonder my daddy refused to put on the little piece of coloured cloth on his sleeve. Initially he refused to even go for the funeral, perhaps because my mummy and I attended, so he did show his face there a while. Given his stubborn character, he doesnt want to put tt cloth on, just let him be lah. My aunts are making a big fuss over it, spreading the news like wind. Esp my third aunt, she is like an amplifier. And my fifth aunt, called my daddy so many times for this issue and kept telling him to come. Aint they too overly concerned?!?!?! The moment a few of them gather and start to yadidadida-yadidadida away, I got the urge to tell them "ARGH, just shut up! It's small issue."

The best part is my fifth aunt telling me not to raise this issue again infront of my daddy yesterday night after she saw my daddy's reaction face to face. I rebutted her saying "my mummy and I didnt even mentioned, you all are the ones kept harping on it." I may sound rude but it's the truth what.

For me, I dont mind going to the funeral, I dont mind putting on the piece of cloth and wearing the white top etc. But during the first day of the funeral yesterday, I feel I am being watched constantly. Being watched by those aunts with outdated thinking.

I cant use my small pretty hair clip on my hair. They gave me a white rufia string to tie my hair. I cant watch tv. I have to remove my toe nail polish. I cant wear watch. I cant wear my bracelet. I cant wear my earrings. I cant laugh and appear happy. And my cousin saw my hair loose and was tying for me with that rafia string, this old auntie whom I dont even know who, saw from far away and asked my seventh aunt to come and tell us off. She said we cant play with hair here. I explained to her and she said even those red-cheapo-tie-plastic rubber band also cannot cos it's red. Pissed off, I replied her, "AIYAHH, then dont tie already lah."

One by one come and tell me this cannot that cannot. The irritating part is different people said different things. One uncle asked me to accompany some unknown aunty to buy salt, pepper etc. Next moment when I offered to accompany my fifth aunt to get biscuit, the other aunties said I wear the white top with the lil cloth on my sleeve, cannot go to those shops. I feel like screaming at them. SO WHAT NOW? CAN OR CANNOT? Everyone just wanna have a say in at least SOME issues.

I sat there, not doing anything for hours. This cannot, that cannot, EVERYTHING CANNOT. Then ask me to do what?! I decided to go seven-eleven to buy magazine to read. And as expected, the old aunty who kept following my every moves stared at me AGAIN. But I dont care. I continued reading my magazine happily.

Later I found out that she is... my late step-grandma's brother's divorced ex-wife. I wonder what's she doing here. She has been giving her views, mending the money-collecting booth, passing commands. OMG.

I bet later when I reach there again, her eyes will start following me again. I really cant stand such people. Aint she overly paranoid? This kinda insignificant issues with no great impact, just let them pass lah. Is there a need to bother and irritate others?

I love kitty.

blessed posted @ Tuesday, September 01, 2009

I have chosen some pics to put inside the new photo-film-designed strip I just gotten from IKEA. I know I was a v ugly baby. My mummy told me many times before. Just now we were talking about the first pic below and I was telling her, "my face look very..."

She filled in the missing word for me.. "out of shape".

It just sounds extra funny when it's coming out from my mummy's mouth.

My mummy said she was upset cos her baby looked so ugly.. Everyone thought I am a boy. But my parents still love me no matter what. I see so many baby pics of me and pics of my daddy carrying me. I feel blessed. -beams-

I love kitty.

DETEST posted @ Sunday, August 30, 2009

I have never detest someone before. Their characters are just horribly impaired that unless they have some amnesia, if not they wont realize that there's something totally not right about their characters.

Having them lingering in my life is just like a bug on my face. Annoying, disgusting. Only bothering and doing no good.

I think it's time they stop bothering and messing my life up and do something to their own lives. Like transforming from a bug to a hardworking ant. OR they can continue to be a bug and bug into their people's lives. I dont give a damn. As long as they stop bothering me.

So, like how I get rid of bugs, I am going to just get rid of them with a "PIAK" and "PIAK". Here they go! Out of my life.

When it comes to irritants intruding into my life, I am heartless. As usual.

Oh, did I tell you before, certain bug has high influential power? So pls leave them before you become a bug as well.

I love kitty.

=) posted @ Thursday, August 27, 2009

My friends are so cute lah! They simply bring joy to me. :)

I love kitty.